Yeah, it worked out for me so far — with lots of pain and heart-ache along the way.

I wouldn’t tell my brothers, who are both in their early 20s, “I totally recommend getting married because it will help you figure your relationship stuff out”. There are easier and better ways for them to take that path and to come into terms with who they are, what they care for in a partner and what type of relationship they want to be in. I would recommend them to read certain books, to do introspection, to do self-discovery, explore sexually and sensually as well as educate themselves about what types of relationships are out there, what the common struggles are and what it means to live with another person every day. Then maybe they want to get married and form that bond, maybe not.

And then there is a general question for me about the legal construct of marriage and all the years and years of cultural baggage that comes with it. As of today it has a very narrow definition and what people think of you when you say “I am married” is a very cookie-cutter picture that doesn’t allow for much personalization.

I am 100% for structures and ways to help people stick together and work through problems together but, in my opinion, if you are married or not doesn’t dictate if people really do that work or not.